He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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