Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
