If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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