i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
