Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
