i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
