Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
