It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
