just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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