i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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