He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize