..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize