she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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