o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
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