I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
