the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
