the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
