marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
even my farts smell like vagina
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She even gives head with a lisp.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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