the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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