Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
