Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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