I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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