ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
