Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
