I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize