i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
