you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
