im drinking this country out of the recession.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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