Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
