I'm jealous of your bromance
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
