i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
there is another microwave in the elevator.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
