No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
