I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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