It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
