If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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