...so i touched it.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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