I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
