He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
last night I used snow as a chaser
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
