I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
