Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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