I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
