Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
