we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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