You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
