could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
