Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
