with your own penis?
Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
