What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
