Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry mcwildcat8230 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(510): View more from California

one might say we're banned from that church

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(419): View more from Ohio

her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.

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(425): View more from Washington

UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.

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(818): View more from California

Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?

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(941): View more from Florida

It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it

(941): View more from Florida

Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini

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