Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My vagina is very pro this idea
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
