it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
