no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
PANTIES FOUND
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
