so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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