i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
