If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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