Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize