i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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