i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
