My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
What a dumb baby whore.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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