Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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