I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
