Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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